Press & marketing kit

Everything,
in one place.

The pitch, the live numbers, the facts anyone can verify, the art, and how he talks. Take what you need. No permission required.

Thirty seconds

The pitch

On a chain built by a brokerage, the memecoin is the guy working the fryer.

Robinhood Chain exists to put stocks and real-world assets on-chain — Wall Street's plumbing, pointed at retail. Every other token on it reaches for that seriousness. $KEVIN goes the other way and lands somewhere truer.

Kevin works minimum wage. He has WiFi. He clocked in at 3:41 PM on a Thursday in 2009 and has never clocked out. His plan has four boxes — LAUNCH, MOON, LAMBO, SLEEP — and he ticked three of them in advance, which he calls planning.

He isn't a joke about retail. He is retail: the person checking a chart on a break, with more conviction than capital. That person built this chain's user base.

And on the chain where a brokerage tokenises real-world assets, he opened a GME pool. He is not discussing it.

Longer versions, and a 352-word write-up, are in NARRATIVE.md.

Updates itself

Live numbers

Read from the chain, not typed here. If you quote one of these, it was true when you loaded the page — and a reader can check it.

Burned—reading…

Full receipts, every transaction linked: burns · LP fees

Checkable in ninety seconds

The facts

These are the strongest thing you have. Use them instead of adjectives — they survive somebody going and looking.

Creator allocationZero. Not "zero for now" — the launchpad factory has no field for one.
Mint functionNone. Supply cannot be increased by anyone, ever.
OwnerNone. Nothing to renounce, because there was never an owner. No pause, no blacklist, no fee switch. All 28 functions in the token implementation were read to confirm it.
Supply1,000,000,000, fixed. 18 decimals.
Vesting escrowHeld by the launchpad factory at 0xE4AcdB51b6554246Da8488d1e68E8FAd1b93f383, released to auction participants, ending 7 Oct 2026.
BurnsSent to 0x…dEaD — the address nobody holds the key to. Published with transaction hashes.
LP feesPublished as transaction hashes on the site, not as a claimed number.
PoolsThree: WETH, KEK, GME. All live and indexed.
Contract0x63D7fa99022794f594F724e7C38Ff0bE3F9e284A
ChainRobinhood Chain · id 4663

Not a roadmap — a list of things that exist

What's built

  1. The site. Static, no framework, no tracker, no cookie banner because there are no cookies.
  2. A documentation page that nobody asked for, with a map instead of a roadmap.
  3. A Telegram bot that answers in his voice and stays quiet when there is nothing to say.
  4. Four playable games — a gym, a card room, a DOS terminal, and a wall of memes.
  5. A walkable world — six painted places, indoors and out, with two jobs in it. Early build, and it says so on screen.
  6. 120 hand-drawn stickers and emoji, plus walk cycles cut frame by frame.
  7. Four smart contracts with 229 passing tests, including three attacks found by trying to break them on purpose and kept as tests that must keep failing.

Those four contracts are written and tested, not deployed. Say "built", never "live" — the site says the same thing, so a reader checking will find you were straight with them.

Take them

Art & assets

No permission needed, no attribution required. Right-click, save.

Logo512×512 PNG Banner1500×500, 3:1 GME art1080×1080 square The mapThe road out of town Social card1200×630 The worldWalk around it — six places, early build MemesThe whole wall — take any of them Sticker packTelegram, 20 stickers Everything elseThe full assets folder

If you write as him

The voice

He states absurd things in the flat tone of someone reading out a rota. He does not hype. He reports his situation, his situation is insane, and he has not noticed.

  1. First person, present tense, short sentences.
  2. Enormous ambition as scheduled admin. "Launching as soon as my shift is over."
  3. The job is normal to him. Because it is.
  4. Undersell. The bigger the claim, the flatter the delivery.
  5. Never explain the joke, never wink. He is not in on it.
  6. No "we", "fam", "guys", "ser", "anon". And no exclamation marks unless he is excited about something small.

The test for any line: would he say this to his shift manager, in the same voice? If it only works as a tweet, it isn't Kevin.

Five lines

What keeps the pitch bulletproof

Not a list of things to hide. A list of five claims that would be easy to make, are not true yet, and would hand a critic the whole argument. Avoiding them is what lets the rest land.

  1. No price talk. No targets, no market cap, no "next 100x". It reads as a pump to exactly the audience you want, and it is the one thing that turns a promoter into a liability.
  2. Never say floor. There is no defended price and no downside protection. Saying otherwise is a promise nobody can keep.
  3. No dates for the contracts. Built and tested, not deployed. "Built" is impressive and true; "live" is neither.
  4. The GME round is not open. The snapshot is taken and published at /claim, the distributor is not deployed, there is no date. Its window has already closed, so never "hold to qualify" — nobody can buy their way onto a list that is already fixed, and saying otherwise is telling somebody to buy.
  5. Nobody else's logo. Kevin works at McKevin's, and the sign says Mc — no arches, no golden M, and never a real chain's name, wordmark or mascot. Ten pieces of art were pulled off the meme wall for breaking this, and they are not on it because they were the funniest ones. Anything you make is yours; anything carrying somebody else's mark is theirs, and it is the one complaint that lands whatever else is true.

If you were paid to post, say so. Once, plainly, in the post. Undisclosed paid promotion is the thing that actually gets people in trouble, and disclosing costs nothing — audiences have never once punished it.